what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
