so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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