oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I can't turn off my feet"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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