her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
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if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
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So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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