I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize