So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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