I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
