I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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