Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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