Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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