wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
