You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
