Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
