and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
