meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
