those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
