Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i think i have herpe
just one?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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