Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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