do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
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oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
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the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
A bitchslap is in order.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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