is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
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