i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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