im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
