I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
