Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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