oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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