oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
