Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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