My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I need to sanitize my soul.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
