super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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