he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
