...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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