Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
