I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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