let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
