would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
