i may or may not be watching the land before time
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
