i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
