I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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