I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
