I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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