That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
