Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Randomize