new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
