She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
