I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
