these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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