Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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