Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
