So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
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Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
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