i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Randomize
