idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
