He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
