I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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