it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
