I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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