i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
