Me. At least after what I've been through.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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