Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
