ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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