apparently the secret to your success is patron
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
