FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
