I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
